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> Depressed family member, Questions on helping a suicidal person
Groundsplitter
post 21 February 2012, 11:10
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Lars Eriksson
Knivsta, Sweden

Group: Root admin
Posts: 4 583
Joined: 26 February 2006



QUOTE(Ravage @ 20 February 2012, 14:08) *
And, Lars, I hope you are not very ill?
I would have preferred to keep this topic on your wife's well-being, but since you ask...

Basically it's the same problem I have been suffering from for the last 7,5 years: I'm burned out. But I had slowly, slowly recovered and was up to 85% work capacity again last fall, when I caught a respiratory infection just one week before Auto Assembly Europe. I had already felt a lot of pressure organizing the event, especially since one friend who had promised to help out went underground and stopped responding, so the event took quite a toll on me. Since then it has felt as if my health has deteriorated again, and I haven't had any excess energy left after work in the evenings.
The respiratory infection remained for quite some time and I coughed rather violenty for two months, so my employers pretty much forced me to go to the company doctor. At the same time I had read about former Swedish cross-country skier Gunde Svan's health problems (apparently he's been suffering from "twar"), and I realized that the symptoms sounded very much alike those that I had, so I asked the company doctor for a test specifically for twar (it's not part of the standard examinations). I went to the hospital for blood sampling and lung x-rays, but the doctors couldn't find anything. In fact, there was nothing in the test that pointed to anything else than that I should be in perfect health! Which I obviously am not. That leaves only the conclusion that my original deduction from 7,5 years ago, that I'm burned out, is right.
So now I know for a fact that there's nothing that medicine can do, or even find, and that I can only hope for the body to slowly recover by itself. But right now the development goes in the opposite direction...

(If there are too many follow-ups to this post, I will split them off into their own topic.)


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E-mail address: groundsplitter@ntfa.net
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Ravage
post 21 February 2012, 13:33
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Le Saboteur


111001
Norway

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Did you consider maybe diabetes? We're going to test my wife for that. That can cause exhaustion. Dont split the topoics. Feels kind of good to hear about other peoples troubles too, in a paradoxialway. Puts a perspective into it. And its good to think about something else than just one selfs problems.

This post has been edited by Ravage: 21 February 2012, 13:34
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Groundsplitter
post 21 February 2012, 15:27
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Lars Eriksson
Knivsta, Sweden

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Posts: 4 583
Joined: 26 February 2006



QUOTE(Ravage @ 21 February 2012, 13:33) *
Did you consider maybe diabetes? We're going to test my wife for that. That can cause exhaustion.
I think that diabetes is part of the things that they looked for in the rather extensive tests. I'm not 100% sure though, so I will contact the doctor the next time I'm at work and can make it work with his telephone hours.
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Ravage
post 22 February 2012, 20:07
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Le Saboteur


111001
Norway

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Well, I got medication for her today. Sobril. She is sceptical since the doctor just gave it in her hand, not by receipt. That would take longer. I hope she will calm more down with this medicine.
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DkConvoy
post 23 February 2012, 17:28
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Gren Sacher


Christian Nielsen
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Im really sorry to hear about all of this Ravage sad.gif
Afraid I cant say anything that hasnt already been mentioned.

You should certainly not leave a depressed person alone, even if she demands it.
Make sure there are people around her.

Talking about the problem at hand is also one of the best forms of healing you can find.
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Ravage
post 24 February 2012, 15:21
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Le Saboteur


111001
Norway

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QUOTE(DkConvoy @ 23 February 2012, 17:28) *
Im really sorry to hear about all of this Ravage sad.gif
Afraid I cant say anything that hasnt already been mentioned.

You should certainly not leave a depressed person alone, even if she demands it.
Make sure there are people around her.

Talking about the problem at hand is also one of the best forms of healing you can find.


Thanks for your kind thought. I managed to get a prescription for sobil. And it seemed to work yesterday. Hope they will keep on working, although weekends and aprticularly saturdays are the worst. ;)
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Fighbird
post 29 February 2012, 09:05
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Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1988!


Martin Lund
Aalborg, Denmark

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First off: My deepest thoughts for you an all that has and is happening - I cannot imagine what is it to go through something like that myself, and I will refrain from trying to say something that I clearly have no experience with.

However, one thing does come to mind: How are you doing yourself?

I can relate to being in a relationship of much anger. My then-girlfriend and I were living together and she had to go through major surgery (won't go into the details) and was on sick-leave for many months. During that time she was clearly very distraught by the situation and most of the time she vented out on me. Not physically, but with anger and shouting and accusations of me treating her bad (again, no violence involved, but rather with my apparent lack of attention and consideration for her situation). Truth of the matter was that I pretty much had halted my education and my jobs just to be there for her during her operation, caring for her, taking an interest in her hobbies and friends, and kind of forgetting myself in it all.

It hurt. A lot. We had very heated arguments - or rather, she had with me, as I don't respond to anger very well - and eventually I just gave up. There was no point in going on with our relationship, because it was very stressful and suffocating on me. I felt I had given my all and my best, and all I got in return was anger and shouting. I wanted to be there for her, and maybe I should have fought harder, but I just couldn't do it any more. So we called it quits rougly 2 years later and I never saw her again.

I later learned that she was "bi-polar", whatever that really means (Pete?), and that that might've been a part of it all. But that didn't change the fact that I loved her then and was frustrated that our relationship turned into what it did. I knew I couldn't live in a relationship like that forever, and basically, with something like that going on, the only one looking out for you is yourself.

So I guess my point is: Don't forget yourself in this. Love can stand a lot of distress and there are always lots of ups and downs, but ultimately there are 2 people in a relationship and both have to feel comfortable and welcome in it.

My 2 cents. smile.gif


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SureShot
post 29 February 2012, 13:10
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"I like big BoTs and I cannot lie"


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QUOTE(Fighbird @ 29 February 2012, 09:05) *
I later learned that she was "bi-polar", whatever that really means ...


Bipolar affective disorder is a kind of substage to a "manic-depressive" psychosis.
It's a disorder characterized by periods of deep, prolonged, and profound depression. that alternate with periods of an excessively elevated or irritable mood known as mania.
(In danish: http://depressionsforeningen.dk/Psykiske-l...r-lidelse.html)

This post has been edited by SureShot: 29 February 2012, 13:14


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Fighbird
post 29 February 2012, 16:30
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Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1988!


Martin Lund
Aalborg, Denmark

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Don't want to hog this thread with my own story (this isn't my thread), but thanks for the link, SureShot.

I guess I experienced the mania part mostly...
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Ravage
post 1 March 2012, 13:31
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Le Saboteur


111001
Norway

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Posts: 231
Joined: 1 March 2006



QUOTE(Fighbird @ 29 February 2012, 09:05) *
I later learned that she was "bi-polar", whatever that really means (Pete?), and that that might've been a part of it all. But that didn't change the fact that I loved her then and was frustrated that our relationship turned into what it did. I knew I couldn't live in a relationship like that forever, and basically, with something like that going on, the only one looking out for you is yourself.

So I guess my point is: Don't forget yourself in this. Love can stand a lot of distress and there are always lots of ups and downs, but ultimately there are 2 people in a relationship and both have to feel comfortable and welcome in it.

My 2 cents. smile.gif


Thank you for your concern. I have been thinking about whether or not she perhaps has a real diagnosis as well. She has some tests booked for her, but they are some weeks in the future. We shall see. Right now, the medication seems to be working fine.
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